もし、ならば

歴史を語る上では、多くの空想が生まれる。「もし、クレオパトラの鼻がもうすこし低かったら」、「もし、元寇の時敗れていたら」、「もし、明智光秀が謀反を起こさなければ」等々。列挙に暇がない。

もし、歌詞にレトリックが一切使われていなければ。

歌詞に難解な比喩や暗喩が使われていて嫌になったことはないだろうか。これから二時間は、全チャンネルでメタファーフリーな音楽だけを提供します。

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion, she's too young so we're trashing the baby
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly off the coast and I'm heading nowhere

You're a young adult, no one understands you when you're growing boobs
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride

Jeremy shot his class today
Jeremy spoke in class today

Bite my lip and close my eyes, masturbate a lot tonight
Bite my lip and close my eyes, I'm drifting away to paradise

You ain't nothing but an *****, ***** all the time
You ain't nothing but a hound dog, crying all the time

And I'm STALKing you...
And now you crash into me yeah

I'm a meth, I'm a meth head
Doot doot doot, doot doodoot doot

...my name, it's like a little prayer, I'm down on my knees, I wanna give you head
it's like a little prayer, I'm down on my knees, I want to take you there

Would you know my name, if you hadn't fallen out of that 53rd story window
Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven

We are taking large amounts of pills, large amounts of pills...
We all live in a yellow submarine

Dave Coulier, I don't like you
And I'm here to remind you

This song is gonna get me laid
Your body is a wonderland

And it seems to me that you lived your life until you were hit by that van
And it seems to me that you lived you life like a candle in the wind

やはりレトリックはあらまほしいところかな。

もし、映画に携帯電話があれば。

映画には意思疎通の不備により、すれ違いが発生したりするものだ。そこでもし、すべての映画に携帯電話があればどうなるであろうか。

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物語が始まらない。